Super(Hero) Emotional Baggage

So the other day Stephanie and I were downtown getting ready to head to dinner and the theatre (no, really… we were…) and we started having a discussion about superheroes. I don’t remember how we started talking about it, but there we were, so I thought for today I’d flush out some of the things we were talking about because really, they’re important enough to everyone…

1. The Invisible Woman

You all know who she is – Sue Richards, part of the Fantastic Four. She was caught in some kind of accident and can go invisible whenever she needs. So here’s the problem – I use IM to talk to friends that I’ve made in my many travels to many foreign lands (like Missouri) and when I don’t want people to see that I’m online, there’s a button I can click that makes me “Invisible” meaning no one can see that you’re online but you can see other people who are online. We’ll get into the creepo implications of this later, but for now my question is: do you ever think The Invisible Woman (TIW) forgets that she’s invisible?

I mean, she can control it right? I can control my IM but sometimes I forget that it’s on invisible and I get pissed that someone didn’t IM me – until I realize that it’s on invisible. So I think it would be helpful if she had a little sign that reminded her that she in fact cannot be seen by others…

Maybe TIW forgets that she’s invisible and is walking into the lab and her husband, stretchy McGee doesn’t hold the door for her, or even worse doesn’t even acknowledge her. I mean hello – how are you supposed to know someone is there when that person is invisible? But oh no – you better believe ole Reedy boy will be getting a tongue lashing, and when he brings up the fact that she was, ahem… INVISIBLE! But guess who has a selective memory about that – I mean come on, Sue would totally be like “I wasn’t invisible, you’re just a douche…”

2. The Incredible Hulk

Steph and I talked about this, but it was certainly buffeted by “I Love You, Man” whose funnier parts (and they were few and far between) had something to do with Lou Ferrigno (sp?).

The Hulk gets angry – we know that. In how many movies, cartoons and comics have we seen Hulk go from this:

To this:

Now my question is this – what’s up with Hulk’s clothes? First off his pants – does that waistline expand to meet the specificity of the Hulk’s figure vs. that of Bruce Banner? I mean, it’s hard to imagine that his 1970’s-era bootcut bellbottoms would be fine in the waist and ripped to shreds at the legs. I mean I’ve seen those pants – they had more room in the calves than they did in the crotch!

Also, when the Hulk got mad his shirt would obviously rip off, and then he would be left without a shirt when he transformed back into BB, presumably after he’d calmed down. When BB would go shopping, would he go to Costco and get shirts in bulk? Would his having to buy more and more clothes to compensate for his little tantrums make him angry, thus perpetuating the never-ending cycle of BB = Angry = Hulk? It sure would make me mad if so much of my paycheck had to go to the same wardrobe that I’d already bought so many dozen times before…

And another thing – when Hulk got angry he could concentrate that anger and do good deeds like foil plots to destroy the planet. Do you think he had some kind of repressed childhood issue that he was able to call on to make sure he stayed angry for the amount of time he needed? And what if he was in the middle of a fight and all of a sudden had no more anger… goodbye Hulk, hello mild-mannered BB.

And was it just anger? What about other intense emotions?? What if he was in bed with a woman – extasy and anger are like close cousins on the emotional family tree, so would he get bigger as he got more… excited??

Anyway, I’m sure there are more out there… what do you have questions about concerning your favorite superheroes?

Dr. MonkPuncher... Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love My Job

So as you all know, I started my new job Monday – and thanks to all of you who have been writing and texting and calling giving me the congrats.

The job in and of itself presents some new challenges for me – not since I lived in D.C. have I been responsible for knowing intimate details of legislation that comes down the pipe, but I’m looking forward to the challenge.  It’s hard to follow right now simply because there’s so much to catch up on that I don’t quite know yet… but after I get all caught up I’m looking forward to having fun with what I’m doing…

And speaking of fun… how many people get to punch a Shaolin Monk in the stomach? Well, on my first day the Monks were in Sacramento being presented by a State Senator who works closely with a co-worker of mine on transportation issues – so we went to support him…

Let me tell you something – there’s no way I could do what they do… they did a team demonstration and then individual stunts – there was one guy who flipped himself with a staff, there were guys breaking stuff left and right, there was a guy (see the first picture) who got himself propped up by his Boys with nothing but spears.  HUH?  Yup…

And there was another guy who called for volunteers from the audience – so when four guys went up there, so did I… I mean, how many times are you going to get the chance to punch a Monk in the stomach? Well no, I didn’t hurt my hand, and no, he didn’t even flinch when I gave him my best jab… then my best haymaker… then my best head-butt (jk…)

But they were incredible – this (to the right) is a guy who propped himself on a spear, then placed a brick square on his back and had another guy break the brick with a freaking sledgehammer! You can see the pieces of brick by his feet that were broken! Are you kidding me?! Rad…

So basically, in short, that was my first day… what kinds of fun things have YOU done on YOUR first day of work???

March Madness Premature Shooter/Super Nintendo Chalmers Update - Day Four

So all of my teams won yesterday - WOOT!! Well, that is all that I had left to win - there still were three teams that were left out because they wussed out and lost their opening round game.

But as it stands right now, I'm in first place in all three brackets and it's going to come down to Villanova vs. Duke and the final - if Villanova beats Duke and North Carolina wins the Championship, I'm in - if Villanova beats Duke and anyone BUT Louisville wins the Championship, I'm also in... so we'll see... fingers crossed... and I think I did that math right, but who knows...

March Madness Premature Shooter/Super Nintendo Chalmers Update - Day Three

So even though I considered yesterday afternoon horrific for my bracket, it turns out I was wrong - every single one of my teams still in it won yesterday, which means that depending on how things go today, I could have all but three of my teams that I picked in the Sweet 16 (the three teams that I picked lost in the first round.)

Because of this, I am now in first place in all my brackets - that's likely to change eventually, I mean, I really can't conceive of a world in which I would win a March Madness bracket, but there's definitely a chance...

March Madness Premature Shooter/Super Nintendo Chalmers Update -Day Two

So I was really on a roll yesterday - all of my teams were winning in the morning bracket, and even my upsets were doing great! Then stupid Utah State couldn't hold a six-point lead and lost to Marquette by one, and stupid Tennessee couldn't get past Oklahoma State (seriously guys?) and lost by ONE again! UGH! Other than that I picked Dayton over WVU in a major upset and that made me happy...

Then the night came... with only eight games left, I figured I was in the clear - I had only picked one upset and it looked to be a good one - Arizona over Utah - and they won! Woot! But unfortunately, I lost FOUR MORE games - and THREE of those I had going into the next round!

BOOOO Florida State...

BOOOO Boston College...

and finally...

BOOOO Wake Forest...

I mean seriously... who the hell is Cleveland State you over-rated ACC mouth breathers!

So so far I'm 24-32, third place in one poll, fourth in another and then third in the family pool - but the good news is that I'm still in the running based on possible points... so let's see what happens today...

March Madness Premature Shooter/Super Nintendo Chalmers Day One Update

So yes, those are my team names - the more crass one for the friends' pools and the Simpsons reference for the family pool... don't judge me...

At any rate, yesterday was generally a good day for me - I finished up picking 14 of the 16 winners, including the 12-5 upset of W. Kentucky vs. Illinois, of which I'm particularly proud.

I grossly underestimated Texas, picking them to lose vs. Minnesota - either that or I thought that Tubby coaching in the SEC for so long and winning one of these championships before would have given them a slight edge. NOPE. The guy is a bum... He won that championship with Rick Pitino's team and recruits, but whatever...

The other game I didn't get right was the Butler vs. LSU, where Ipicked Butler but LSU ended up winning 75-71. It was a good game, and I never should have gone against the SEC, but oh well... I'll take 14 of 16. So far I'm in second place in every poll I'm in...

Today may be a different story - I've picked some risky upsets, like Utah State to beat Marquette, Tennessee to beat OK State, Arizona to beat Utah, and Dayton to beat WVU. Risky yes, but we'll see... on to day TWO!

Ten Reasons Why I Love March Madness

So, today and tomorrow I am totally okay with being unemployed and sitting on my can... Why? If you have to ask, then there's something wrong with you.. It's TOURNAMENT TIME!!

Today is the start of the NCAA Tournament, and in honor of that occasion, I've decided to outline the top ten reasons why the Tournament is amazing, why it's the best 48 hours in sports, and why Tournament is spelled with a capital T...

1. Selection Sunday - this is the precurser to the Tournament, and for many of us it's like Christmas morning, except that we don't get bored after ten minutes of playing with the bracket (more on this later) - I have such fond memories of being on the phone with Uncle Jamus for hours discussing the brackets when they first get out on Sunday - that hasn't happened in a few years, and I miss it

2. Brackets - COME ON! Admit it - you fill yours out first right when Selection Sunday announces the brackets, then spend the next four days using more eraser than a nervous Ashley taking her civics midterm before Spring Break. And then you hear the "experts'" picks - but seriously, how does picking 58% of the winners every year and ending up with four #1 seeds in the Final Four qualify you as an expert?

On the same lines is the office/family/friends pool - I am in four this year, and I know that most of you are in more than one as well - there's ins't anything more fun than rubbing your best friends' face in the fact that he picked BYU and you picked Texas A&M - it doesn't matter that neither of them will go on, it only matters for those 40 minutes (and the endless time before) that is the most intense rivalry in college sports.

It also helps that your Aunt Marge usually wins the pool by picking more games than Billy Packer - I mean, she has the scientific system of picking teams based on uniform color... It also helps when Kellie picks a team to win it all that isn't even in the Tournament... Hey Kel, Michigan IS in it this year - but so is Michigan State, so be specific...

3. Alliteration - with terms like Selection Sunday, March Madness, Sweet Sixteen, Elite Eight, Final Four, Buzzer Beater, even Field of Sixty-Four has a ring to it! No wonder why people love Tournament Time (hey, there's another one...) - it's just so fun to say the words!

And let's not forget the honorable mention terminology that may not be alliterative, but are still fun - Bracket Busters (wait a minute...), Bracketology, Cinderella, On the Bubble, Big Dance (hey, is that why they call overacheivers Cinderella??) - I mean come on, what other single sporting event has it's own lingo??

4. Everyone gets a chance - Everyone gets a chance. This isn't the snooty Bowl Championship Series, where it's set up so that only teams from the top six leagues get a title shot. In college basketball, all 326 teams have a chance to play their way into the dance through conference tournaments, and the mid-majors are doing a great job of representing, which leads us into...

5. Cinderella Stories - This would include George Mason's incredible run to the Final Four in 2006, Gonzaga going to the Elite Eight as a 10-seed in 2003, Richmond being the first #15 seed to beat a #2 seed (yes, I still included that even though that #2 seed was my woeful USC Gamecocks), the 1987 Providence Friars that brought front-and-center one Rick Pitino, who's premature son was born and died the night before the Tournament - and Providence as a sixth seed made it all the way to the Elite Eight beating mighty Georgetown on the way, and the stories don't stop there, but I don't have the patience to include them all...

But also we need to expand "Cinderella" to include amazing stories from the players themselves, like who can forget the 1990 Loyola Maramount player Bo Kimble, who's best friends and teammate Hank Gathers collapsed and died during the conference tournament. I memory of Gathers, Bo shot the first free throw of every game left handed (Gathers was left handed) and he made them all, as LMU went to the Sweet Sixteen as an 11 seed...

And aside from this, every year there are players on 10-11-12 seeded teams that step up to make huge shots and destroy the brackets of folks everywhere - but the amazign thing is that almost always, even if it destroys you and your four pools, you end up cheering for the underdog and smile when they pull it off!

6. Freshmen - March Madness is where we were introduced to a kid named Michael Jordan, who hit the game-winner against mighty Georgetown in '82, and Carmelo Anthony, who carried Syracuse to the 2003 title. Stephen Curry in 2008 made a national name for himself, scoring more than anyone else in the Tournament and proving that sometimes the big guys get it wrong in recruiting... LeBron, you don't have any idea what you missed out on...

By the way, this will now end I think as freshman outstanding performances will increase and therefor become less special as the "One-and-Done" rule forces freshmen to play in the Tournament - I mean look at last year, with no less than four freshmen playing in the Tournament and becoming first-round draft picks, including the first two overall picks...

7. CBS NCAA Theme Song - tell me you don't get psyched when you hear it - I'll be whistling it subconsciously throughout the year...

8. College Players - They play the game for the right reasons, and even if you KNOW they're going to ride the pine in the pros, you know they're enjoying the Tournament.

Example number one (and really the only one you need): Tyler Hansborough. If you've ever watched him even play a regular-season game against North Delaware Institute for the Blind you've seen intensity, concentration, effort and hustle like nothing before. The kid is incredible - including jumping off garages into the pool during the off-season - but as great a college player as he is, and as much as he fires his team and the rest of the nation up (and hopefully spurring them on to a National Championship, per my own bracket...) he's going to absolutely suck in the pros. He just is. No arguments...

9. Adios Billy Packer - CBS does a pretty good job every year with the Tournament, and I'm not really sure it's fair to talk about one of the greatest things about this particular time of year being the absence of a dude who was so involved for so many years. But I couldn't stand the guy, this is my blog, so you'll just have to deal with it. Packer was pompous, Packer was pretentious, Packer was sure he knew more about basketball than anyone, including coaches, players, talking heads, the selection committee, and even your Aunt Marge who beat him regularly in her brackets... And now that CBS has retained the help of Jay Bilas, I gotta say I expect great things from them... Que le vaya bien, Billy Packer...

10. One Shining Moment - I know, I know - it's the most inane and manipulative three minutes in sports every single year - but come on - who hasn't brushed a tear away ever so slightly so your friends don't see, even thought they're doing the same thing... Yes it's cheesy, but it's kinda so cheesy it works...

Okay, so there's the list - but this by far doesn't include everything, so as honorable mention I'm going to include:

Commercials - I'm really looking forward to more in-the-car POV Sonic commericals, Coke Zero commercials in their never-ending fued against real Coke, and call it cheesy, but I like knowing how many college athletes there are, and that the majority of them are going to go pro in something other than sports...

Lane Violation? - That's right, they actually call the games like they're supposed to be called in the Tournament

School Allegiance - Even if you graduated 40 years ago, if you're lucky enough to have your team in the Big Dance, you are GEEKED and won't let anyone who's #2 Alma Mater lost to a #15 Coppin State team forget that he's not in it...

Dick Vitale - Love him or hate him, he is college basketball

NIT - yes, sub-par teams, but not sub-par games - let us not forget the red-headed stepchild of the NCAAs...

Gambling - I don't condone it, but there is $2,000,000,000 per year wagered on the Tournament, on everything from who gets in, seed position and how many times Rick Pitino's hair is going to more (over-under is 0)

Bruce Pearl - watch him coach Tennessee, it's like hearing Mozart the way it should be played...

Students' Ridiculous Signs - seriosuly, who thinks "Mom, Send More Money" is going to get you on TV... wait a minute... there's one...

So now that you have all of it, ENJOY! And you suckers at work - remember you can catch all the games online this year so you're not stuck watching a 16-1 blowout just because that's the media market you're in... WOOT!

So what do you love about the Tournament??

T.V.

So I'm going back to work Monday after a three month hiatus and I've had a good chance to catch up on my T.V. watching, so in tribute to the television and the hours of entertainment it's provided in between training runs, I've decided to make a list of the T.V. shows that I've seen every episode of... just because... in no particular order... and not counting mini-series like Planet Earth or Band of Brothers.

1. The Simpsons
2. LOST
3. Bones
4. The Office (U.S. and U.K.)
5. 30 Rock
6. Friends
7. Arrested Development
8. The West Wing
9. Studio 60
10. Sportsnight
11. Scrubs
12. Young Indiana Jones Chronicles
13. The Wire
14. Futurama
15. My Name is Earl
16. Project Runway
17. Hell's Kitchen
18. Psych
19. House
20. Black Books
21. The Cosby Show
22. Alias
23. Chuck
24. Saved by the Bell
25. Flight of the Conchords
26. Entourage
27. It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
28. LIFE
29. Mad Men
30. Pushing Daisies
31. Samantha Who

And I'm sure there are others that I've overlooked, but my question is this: what are your shows, and what would you recommend to me?

Shamrock'n Half Marathon

So in my marathon training today was supposed to be a 12-mile day, so I decided that it would be fun to run an extra mile and enter a half marathon being run in Sacto today. I ended up finishing in 1:46.24 - which is way ahead of where I need to be for my marathon in May - SO STOKED!!

I'll have my pictures from the event up as soon as they're posted online... and now it's time for frozen peas on knees...

Go Kumquats!

So in two consecutive weeks the Kumquats are 2-0! Yes! Back on top! Sorta...

Let's revisit the difference between the first three games (0-2-1) and the last two (2-0). There's two things really -

Number one, sports GU. In training for the marathon in May I am using GU, a sports gel that gives you sustained energy for long-distance runs. I started taking some before the games to give myself an added boost, and it's been great - I feel alert in the goal, and I have energy like I did all those years ago... Okay, maybe not that much, but still...

Number two - Taylor and Angie. This season we'll be without Chad, Conrad (for much of the season), Tyson and Kelly Law - and if you know anything about the Kumquats you know that those guys are a lot of the field skill on our team. We've made up with it with some pretty good teenagers and Ryan, who for only playing two games is incredibly fast and has recovery speed and Roy, who isn't a teenager... not by a long shot...but we've still needed that kick - and Taylor and Angie are that kick...

With Taylor playing in the back I feel comfortable in the net and we haven't been scored on since and Angie playing in the middle has great speed and can not only possess the ball but take it away whenever she wants -

I've had some good saves and the games have been really fun, kinda ever since we lost 4-0 to the semi-professional team we lost Paul to (even though I fantastic game and had MAYBE 1,000 saves that game.) But since then we've been ON. Yesterday, for example, I blocked a PK on a BS call against Conrad, I had a couple great diving saves, a pretty good save on a one-on-one breakaway, and it feels good.

So we won yesterday 2-0, with a guest appearance by Conrad scoring a goal and another goal by Matt, who was set up perfectly, took a perfect touch and put the ball in the back of the onion bag right past the net tender... (that's English football talk...)

Just thought you'd all like to know what we've been up to... more to come, but next week we have a bye... BOOOOOOOO!

Employment Rocks!

So it's treated me well, but I'm taking a hiatus from campaign politics. How permanent is a hiatus? Who knows... but for now I'm considering it mildly temporary yet indeterminately permanent...

I've taken a new job as a policy consultant with the California Alliance for Jobs, an organization dedicated to creating infrastructure jobs within California. They are expanding their organizational perview to include water policy, THE hot button issue in Cali right now, and they've hired me to lead up that division.

It's pretty exciting new territory, and I'm looking forward to starting - I told ya'll that government was the one un-downsize-able industry - WOOT for employment!

Line Etiquette

So I'm standing in line at Costa Vida - seriously the longest line ever - waiting to meet Matt and Roy and Joe for lunch to rehash yesterday's Kumquats game - and I just have to say I HATE people who don't practice line etiquette.

In this particular case, I think it's fine when someone of a group holds a spot for a friend, A friend, but what's with a whole office sending one employee to hold the line for the whole place? I'm standing behind a woman who keeps checking her phone and I just know she's waiting on people to make the 38 people in front of me even more.

But I don't expect it to be a whole damn office. So I said something to them, which is totally out of character for me but come on, that's ridiculous. They let be go in front of them at least, but what about the other ten people who were behind me that they cut?

Seriously - people have no decency. Just because there's someone you know in line doesn't make it okay to jump the rest of the line if there's another 50 people there. If there are two people in line, who cares - but this is the damn lunch rush. Everyone is on a schedule. Except me... but they don't know that.

Ugh... Social retards...

Big Boy Toys

So it seems that I'm getting closer and closer to being gainfully employed after taking some time off following the 2008 election. This means that I'll soon be able to but stuff. And if you know me, you know how much I like buying stuff... I'm what my friends here refer to as a "gear guy" - I guess that's someone who wants cool stuff, researches the best of the cool stuff he wants and then goes out and gets it - and finds peace knowing that it's the best stuff outt here.

Now I have to say that since I left the campaign world aside at the beginning of the year, I've been really good about keeping within my budget and not overspending to make sure that the money I had set aside for this time didn't run out. For a gear guy that's really tough... really tough...

But now that it seems I'll be back to having my stream of revenue before too long, I've decided on a list of ten items on my most wanted list - what I'm calling big boy toys... Some of them are things I'll buy soon, some are things that may take a while... Oh, and they are in no particular order...

1. HD MiniDV Video Camera with Waterproof Housing
2. Military Spec Night Vision Goggles
3. 1968 Ford Mustang 390 GT
4. Celestron C150HD Telescope
5. Secret Service IFB/radio set
6. Bose 3rd Generation Noise-Canceling Headphones
7. Dual Shock Mountain Bike
8. Set of Normann Knives
9. Nike Sasquatch Sumo 5900 Driver and Club Set
10. Campagna T-Rex

I'll leave it up to you to look up the stuff you don't know about - but trust me - these things are amazing, and yes, I have my reasons for each and every one of them. And yes, this list is likely to grow by leaps and bounds, but I thought ten a right round number for now...

So the question is - what do you want??

And PS - if you google "Bog Boy Toys" make sure your image filter is on...