Non-Essential Mnemonics

Yes, I'm forgetful... this I know, and I recognize as a fault.  In no way would I ever claim anything different, so in that vain, I present you with my useless Mnemonic devices.

For those of you who never took chemistry or any other useless subject that required you to memorize ridiculous amounts of material, and list after list, Mnemonic devices are where you make up a sentence where the first word of every letter corresponds to the first word of the list or thing you're meant to memorize - for instance, Never Eat Soggy Waffles is a mnemonic for North East South West, the points on a compass...

But some mnemonics are more descriptive than others: 

And to anticipate your questions, yes, I'm incredibly bored...

Asinine Dares Beget Asinine Deaths.

Most likely the inscription on Matt's or Joe's headstone... and a mnemonic for the five stages of grief in reverse order (acceptance, depression, bargaining, anger, denial).

Goliath Expects Lenience? No Dice.

Ancient Jewish proverb and a mnemonic for the first five books of the Old Testament (or the Torah) (Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers Deuteronomy).

Lli-llo-lli Siaadth Patya.

18th century Hawaiian Princess of the Kamahameha Dynasty and a mnemonic for the steps to the Hokey-Pokey (left leg in, left leg out, left leg in, shake it all about, do the Hokey-Pokey, and turn yourself around) So it's technically an acronym... close enough...

Tony Kornheiser Gets Very Small Children to Handle Growing Sports CrossWord Division of the Crummudgeon-Man Chronicle.

A description of how a sports radio icon would handle his personal newspaper and a mnemonic for all the places Andy has lived in his life, in order (Tallahassee, Kansas, Germany, Virginia, South Carolina, Hawaii, Guatemala, South Carolina, Washington, D.C., Missouri, California)

Guys You Better Always Audit

Famous last words of advice from Virgil Friedman, who worked at Enron until he disappeared in early November 2001 and a mnemonic for the top five internet search engines, in order of popularity (Google, Yahoo, Bing, Ask, AOL)

Don't! Please No! Jimminy Gillickers! Crap! Mama Mama! Smokey Can Never Handle Violence! Name Your New Cryptonite and Ready It!

What you might say when getting attacked by a bear, and then rallying yourself to beat it, and a mnemonic for the 13 original colonies, in chronological order (Delaware, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Georgia, Connecticut, Massachusetts, Maine, South Carolina, New Hampshire, Virginia, New York, North Carolina, Rhode Island)

I Is Not a Kunklehead

Rebuttal from W after being taunted by a 2nd grader, and also a mnemonic for the Axis of Evil (Iran, Iraq, North Korea)

Another Seemingly Anonymous Alien Angers All Except Nathaniel Ayers

A description of the mentally ill state of an American violin virtuoso and a mnemonic for remember the continents, in order from least to greatest all-time Olympic medal count (Antarctica, South America, Africa, Australia, Asia, Europe, North America)

Obi-Wan dies; Han and Chewy save Skywalker.

A summay of the last 45 minutes of Star Wars IV, and a mnemonic for the starting lineup of the Houston Rockets' 1995 NBA Championship team (Olajuwon, Drexler, Horry, Cassell and Smith)