NATIONAL DONUT DAY!!

So I get a call this morning on my way to work from my uncle Jamie (sidenote: to really understand how this conversation went – and really most conversations with Jamus go – all you need to do is picture an ultra-excitable toddler who’s about to take that first glorious bite of ice-cream – all big-eyed and wonder-filled... not yet fully knowing, but sensing... anticipating... maybe forestalling for just a microsecond the jubilee that's sure to ensue, but anxiously and excitedly bating his breath as he knows... somethin' good's about to go down... that’s pretty much how my uncle lives every day of his life.) 

Anyway, I get this call on the way to work and after some mix-up with the dates (is it the 5^th or the 6^th??) he finally gets around to telling me that, yes… at long last… it’s here…

NATIONAL DONUT DAY!! – A day that bring all of us together, from the lowliest Homer to the mightiest Mr. Burns.

What (read: Hwat) day could fit in better with my week’s theme of eating whatever the hell I want to?? How glorious is this? What more appropriate Kismet has Zeus seen to reign down upon me??

So my uncle challenges me to eat a dozen donuts in keeping with the theme of the week (which, btw – has been incredibly well-received, and not one person seems to be worried about my health… huh…) and I accept…

So I start out with my dozen donuts arranged in front of me… I have as follows: three plain glazed, two chocolate frosted, two crueler glazed, one sugar coated, one chocolate old-fashioned, one old-fashioned glazed, one pink frosted and one maple frosted crueler.  Really I cleaned out the place across the street or I would have had a much better mix…

And dig in, face first, no hands necessary, pie-eating contest style…

But I soon slow at that and have to simple resort to eating them by hand… NOTICE THE INTENSITY... that's what I bring, baby... you don't want to mess with those crazy eyes...

By the fourth my intensity is waning… It’s not as easy to do as I though – plus, I think the week’s eating an inordinate amount of calories may be catching up to me…

Turns out I couldn’t do it… I got to seven and had to call no joy… I didn’t throw up though, which I guess is a bonus…

Now I s’pose I’ll just wait for that sugar rush to get here… and then the crash…

BTW – the donuts that I ate adds up to about 2,300 calories… all before 9:30 in the morning…

(Sidenote: today in honor of what the dutch settlers called olykoeks, stop by Krispy Kreme and get a free one of your choice, no questions asked… or stop by Dunkin Donuts and get a free one with a beverage purchase…)