So I know it’s been a while since we’ve had a Kumquats update – but that’s because there really wasn’t anything blog-worthy to happen to us in a while. Last session we ended as the fourth best team, a far cry from what we’re used to – mainly because four of our five best guys stopped playing with us for different reasons and we’ve had to replace girls like Phoenix bakeries have to replace donuts when Shaq’s in town… (sidenote: what more could happen to a fantastic team? One guy blows out his knee, one guy drops us to work on his dissertation, one guy has to sleep whenever he can because he’s working 80 hours per week because his company fired everyone else, one guy switched teams (no, that’s not euphemism… although if it were we’d have a whole new reason to make fun of him), one of our girls got pregnant and one chased her cheating, lazy-ass leeching chump of a boyfriend to L.A… then to Seattle… I mean really… seriously??)
Anyway, so we’re back in action now with a revamped team – and by revamped I mean Ryan is playing with us and we had to forfeit our first game because only two girls showed up. Ugh… This is a world wide web call – if you or anyone you know can play soccer consistently on Thursday nights and has woman parts, we need you… email me seriously…
So the team we played last night was a bunch of kids. Literally – they all just graduated from high school and the majority of them are going to play in college in some capacity or another… so naturally, after the forfeit, we play 7 (us) vs. 11 + 1,000,000 subs (them) – after they went up 3-0 on about a thousand shots, three guys from
the other team started playing with us… it’s nice when we can participate in the other team’s intrasquad scrimmage, don’t you think??
At any rate, despite all of the whining we had a good time… I got a bunch of shots and felt good, and our two new guys and one new girl did well… I just hope that they had a sufficiently good time to keep coming back, unlike Cassie, who deserted our team this year and showed up on the team we played yesterday with two girls she was going to bring along with her to our team… I think we’re all lucky (but mainly her) that Joe was in an okay mood…
Oh, and I shouldn’t neglect to mention how Ryan got totally used by an 18-year old blonde girl, shown here… It kinda felt like she should have left the money on the nightstand the way she used him… but we’ll cut him some slack considering he’s never played before… oh wait… no we won’t…
So we were watching The Office yesterday and I won’t ruin it for anyone who hasn’t seen it, (sidenote: there are a lot of hidden gems in these latest epidoes… stuff that you don’t perhaps get right away, but later on you’re like… dude, that was FUNNY – which is why The Office is the greatest comedy on TV today and already up there, just based on seasons 2-4 with the greatest comedies ever… examples from yesterday: geography joke, Kevin’s math, Dwight’s stupid joke and a 34” waist being considered fat… but again, I still want more Creed – totally underutilized character…) but there’s a part where Pam is getting the results of a sprained ankle medical exam and she and Jim are smiling…
Well, all of us watching jumped to one conclusion and Kellie pops in with “How do you know it’s [insert what we all thought it was here] – how do you know they didn’t find a million dollars up Pam’s butthole…”
I’ll just leave that for you to contemplate…
On the way to watch The Office yesterday I stopped by Andy’s as he called me over (the other Andy) to check out his grill… I’ll let you take a look for yourself at why he called me over…
Apparently a cap fell off from a fight he got into a while back... Yeah... good luck with that...
3 comments:
Is Pam pregnant??? Don't tell me. Ben and I watch it together online on Fridays since we don't have cable anymore.
Why do you need to have women on your team? Is there a certain number required?
Seriously, that picture of Andy is hilarious, and even more perfect because he does live in a trailer park!
The office was great, and it totally is one that you can re-watch over and over again.
I think I will keep my position as team photographer. If I was a female body down on the field, you would all end up hating me after it was all said and done.
B - I won't tell you, but since it's Saturday and you watched it yesterday (unless you're a liar...) YES, Pam is pregnant... And we have to have four girls on the field at all times...
T - We wouldn't be mad at you for losing, well, maybe Joe but that has less todo with you than a general disdain for coming in not first (aka last)... but I don't think we'd be able to resist kicking you the ball, cause that would be comedy...
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