AndyVentures

So calm down everybody, I know that I told you that I would have the second round matchups the day after the first round but there’s something you need to understand: “tomorrow” on a Friday generally means Monday, not Saturday.  The weekends do not lend themselves to blogging, unless there’s a special case… that and I’ve been really busy the last several days…

So at any rate, let’s get to the second round! 

                    Joe (1) vs. Kellie (4)

While Joe had it easy in the first round, Kellie had to fight just a little harder, but lucky for her Andy wasn’t that hard to bring down, but gave her just enough challenge to give her a taste for blood. Joe and Kellie both are the two most competitive people in the world, and with styles very different (Joe’s traditional kick-boxing vs. Kellie’s all-out drunken brawl) this should be an interesting fight despite the seedings…  

The first half of the fight goes to Joe, who’s mountain of experience in the ring (and his total disregard for Kellie’s pregnant status) along with his win-at-every-cost attitude serves him well.  He is able to repel Kellie at almost every turn, as her wild style is no match for his discipline and ability to take pain.  But she just won’t quit… she keeps coming and this confuses Joe… usually by this point his opponent has wilted and given up hope for even a normal life after a beating… 

But Kellie, buffeted by enough hormones for two and fueled by the most intense desire to win, not to mention the unseen strength of a full grown woman AND a little baby, fights back and uses her everywhere techniques to make Joe over-think the fight, and as it wears on, the more unraveled and wild his tactics become, opening him up to Kellie’s repeated attacks… until finally he makes a fatal error, not connecting on a rapacious attempt, allowing Kellie to get him right in the kitchen… knocking him on the chin, she dazes him enough to get him to the ground and into her patented “Baby Mama” submission hold…

And Kellie moves on to the next round… 

 

                    Matt (2) vs. Tiff (6)   

Matt has learned from the fatal mistake that Ryan made – insulting something close to Tiffany’s heart, so he steers clear of any derogatory references to Twilight (book or movie), art, Denio’s, photography, or adoption, which is a smart move that allows him to keep the fight on an even plane… 

Having already won her fight, Kellie skips the shower to cheer on Matt, and can be heard as the loudest person in the room, and also the scariest as I can’t very well reprint the atrocities that she would have Matt commit… I mean, there are children that read this blog… or at least grown-ups with the IQ and attention span of children… 

Anyway,  Matt’s stature doesn’t match up well with Tiff, and she has been working out pretty much non-stop with Joe, even on some days without him, so she’s gotten into good shape while Matt has played soccer one day a week… sometimes less… but pure tenacity along with his Gimli-like prowess of being very dangerous in short bursts serves Matt well… 

But Tiffany’s long frame and excellent conditioning allow her to stay in it for far longer than one would expect, especially from the often demure art teacher, but a length Matt’s repeated quick attacks are too much for Tiff, who decides that she can get better pictures and blog a more interesting story if she were to lose, which isn’t a stretch to do since she is being pummeled at every turn, so Matt wins on a final take-down where an exhausted Tiff decides not to get up… 

Tomorrow, stay tuned for the championship between Matt and Kellie, or as we over at ASPN have dubbed it, “Marriage Counseling: Extreme Edition”