Super(Hero) Emotional Baggage

So the other day Stephanie and I were downtown getting ready to head to dinner and the theatre (no, really… we were…) and we started having a discussion about superheroes. I don’t remember how we started talking about it, but there we were, so I thought for today I’d flush out some of the things we were talking about because really, they’re important enough to everyone…

1. The Invisible Woman

You all know who she is – Sue Richards, part of the Fantastic Four. She was caught in some kind of accident and can go invisible whenever she needs. So here’s the problem – I use IM to talk to friends that I’ve made in my many travels to many foreign lands (like Missouri) and when I don’t want people to see that I’m online, there’s a button I can click that makes me “Invisible” meaning no one can see that you’re online but you can see other people who are online. We’ll get into the creepo implications of this later, but for now my question is: do you ever think The Invisible Woman (TIW) forgets that she’s invisible?

I mean, she can control it right? I can control my IM but sometimes I forget that it’s on invisible and I get pissed that someone didn’t IM me – until I realize that it’s on invisible. So I think it would be helpful if she had a little sign that reminded her that she in fact cannot be seen by others…

Maybe TIW forgets that she’s invisible and is walking into the lab and her husband, stretchy McGee doesn’t hold the door for her, or even worse doesn’t even acknowledge her. I mean hello – how are you supposed to know someone is there when that person is invisible? But oh no – you better believe ole Reedy boy will be getting a tongue lashing, and when he brings up the fact that she was, ahem… INVISIBLE! But guess who has a selective memory about that – I mean come on, Sue would totally be like “I wasn’t invisible, you’re just a douche…”

2. The Incredible Hulk

Steph and I talked about this, but it was certainly buffeted by “I Love You, Man” whose funnier parts (and they were few and far between) had something to do with Lou Ferrigno (sp?).

The Hulk gets angry – we know that. In how many movies, cartoons and comics have we seen Hulk go from this:

To this:

Now my question is this – what’s up with Hulk’s clothes? First off his pants – does that waistline expand to meet the specificity of the Hulk’s figure vs. that of Bruce Banner? I mean, it’s hard to imagine that his 1970’s-era bootcut bellbottoms would be fine in the waist and ripped to shreds at the legs. I mean I’ve seen those pants – they had more room in the calves than they did in the crotch!

Also, when the Hulk got mad his shirt would obviously rip off, and then he would be left without a shirt when he transformed back into BB, presumably after he’d calmed down. When BB would go shopping, would he go to Costco and get shirts in bulk? Would his having to buy more and more clothes to compensate for his little tantrums make him angry, thus perpetuating the never-ending cycle of BB = Angry = Hulk? It sure would make me mad if so much of my paycheck had to go to the same wardrobe that I’d already bought so many dozen times before…

And another thing – when Hulk got angry he could concentrate that anger and do good deeds like foil plots to destroy the planet. Do you think he had some kind of repressed childhood issue that he was able to call on to make sure he stayed angry for the amount of time he needed? And what if he was in the middle of a fight and all of a sudden had no more anger… goodbye Hulk, hello mild-mannered BB.

And was it just anger? What about other intense emotions?? What if he was in bed with a woman – extasy and anger are like close cousins on the emotional family tree, so would he get bigger as he got more… excited??

Anyway, I’m sure there are more out there… what do you have questions about concerning your favorite superheroes?