Friday Tidbits

Last night we had a really fun game against Sweden, the team that we were playing when Joe gave me a slight concussion a few weeks ago. We won 4-0, and for the first time in a few games Matt didn't score and Kellie didn't give the other team a goal :) Tyson, who I am trying to get to play at BYUH since he's going there next semeseter, had two goals and basically just dribbled past the entire Swedish side and put a few goals past the keeper - the keeper we will get to in a minute...

Kelly Law was really the star of the game despite Tyson's two goals - she was all over the field, doing her best impression of Shawn Johnson on a foul that was called on her as she was flipped in the air several times by a Swedish guy twice her size. She finally got her goal, and it was pretty - Kelly kicks hard, does a lot of running and grunt work to set goals up for other people - she's really fast, but doesn't get to the back of the net often, and I'm glad that she got hers. Danielle added a fourth goal on a PK that was called with less than a minute, and made the keeper look like a fool.

Now about that guy - he was talking trash the WHOLE game to our team - but not the entire Kumquats side, only the girls - he would shut up when the guys would come in, but talk non-stop trash to the girls, and when he got scored on a SECOND time by a girl, he was talking trash to the referree, called him a B*&^H and got a red card - he was not happy, and the whole team was pretty apologetic afterward about his behaviour. But seriously - what a little sissy... I'll see him in Toledo...

Oh, and Joe and Matt both had some REALLY good looking shots on goal - Joe missed by mear inches wide left and Matt hit the post - and the keeper nowhere in sight.

Once again the fanbase was out in full support - all the Braggs were there, including Dad Bragg who made his first appearance, and Robbie Gant - Amanda's husband and Ryan and Ashley made it out too. Those along with all regulars, Tani, Marcus, Mom Bragg, Andy, Amanda and Will, Tiffany and Angela Conrad's wife.

We went to BJs afterward to celebrate, I was restless until about 1:00 am, finally got to sleep pretty restful after that, and we are going camping this weekend, I am running my Nike Human Race 10K on Sunday and then rafting on Labor Day - this is going to be a great weekend, with lots of pictures (I forsee... awesome blog posts in the future...) and it's going to be much needed before the post Labor Day political sprint.

Don't Get Road Rage

So I wasn't in the best of moods today as I was driving to work. Shocker, I know...

But I was on way in, and beside me in the other lane was one of THOSE kids - driving somewhere in a Scion box-thing that looks like a metal loaf of Wonderbread. He was thumping his music way loud (YES, I know I sound like I should be in the balcony box on the Muppet Show, and chances are that I was getting upset because I was deep down jealous of his pretty nice system - I mean, how does a high school kid have that kind of system??)

I was getting more and more annoyed every time we ran into a red light, because he was right there, not beside me, but a few cars up, to where I could just hear the bass thumping from his car. For four miles he didn't turn, he didn't vear, he didn't change lanes or positions. He was just right there.

On the last light I the two cars in front of me pulled into the turn lane and I ended up right next to this guy. Great... Now I was faced with one of two scenarios - to say something to him, or to drag him out of his wannabe-Hummer mobile and beat the living S$%T out of him. I really didn't have any other option at this point - you know how it is when things just escalate like that... But then I pulled next to him...

Wow... he was listening to a great song that I have been all over for a few weeks now - I could make out the music, not just the bass, and it actually made me feel really good on the homestretch to the office.

So don't get roadrage... the guy next to you may just be thumping a really good song but you couldn't tell because you were so focused on hating the guy...

BTW - this is the song:

Hurrican What?

There's a hurricane forming in the Caribbean right now, and they're calling it Gustav...

Seriously, Hurricane Gustav? Seriously??

Saturday Activities

The last few Saturday's have been pretty great - despite my needing to work 16 hours on a regular day, I've also decided that I need mental health days. Those happen to be Thursday nights (Kumquats soccer nights), Saturdays (our adventure days) and Sundays for Church (though I admit that often I have to work the bookends of the Church day.)

This Saturday we got up early (why is it that when I get up at 6:00 for work, I feel like throwing my head into a microwave, but when I get up at 6:30 on the weekend to make sure I get the most out of the day, I feel energized?) and we went to shoot guns with Lee Cooley, who used to be a counselor in the Singles Ward Bishopric. At least, we thought that was going to be the activity of the day. The ACTUAL activity of the day was a game we like to play called "get lost in Tahoe National Forest and see if we can systematically drive down every dirt road for two hours and, by pure happenstance, stumble across a place we can shoot guns."

Yes, that actually happened. Cooley thought Matt knew the place, and Matt thought that Cooley knew he is a perpetual car-sleeper so he couldn't possibly know how to get there. But we got there... eventually... The list included Cooley, Matt, Conrad, Ryan, me and two others from Matt's ward, the Calls (one of whom is a retired Roseville PD and had some great stories during those lost two hours.) Cooley brought out shotgun... then another shorgun, then a Quigley Down Under rifle (which shot $7 bullets and were the size of a small child), then an authentic M1 rifle, then an 1859 sideloader, then a buffalo hunter rifle, then a .40 calibre bear stopper handgun. The Calls brought out a Clot Peacemaker, three other revolvers, an automatic .22 Luger and Call's .45 Sig Sauer service weapon.

WOW - firepower. Since there was no range, it was like the old west had a baby with kids in a candy store - we were all going from gun to gun and shooting basically whenever we felt like it at whatever we felt like. We shot skeet (I started out 4-4, but ended up 5-8) and targets galore. I really can't describe it all here suffice it to say that we had a great time, and props to Cooley and Calls for making every man's dream come true... except maybe Joe, because we weren't shooting at any PEOPLE.

After that whole thing, which I can't stress enough how fun it was, it was time to go home and nap... then go cliff jumping at Big Tit (yes, that's the official name) right near Folsom Prison. Matt and I took Marcus, Thomas and Tyler (his nephews and brother) to the cliffs and taught them how to jump. It was great - and I can't believe me don't have any pictures of this! We did the same thing the week before with Matt Jackson and we didn't have any pictures of that either!




The video is not us, but it will give you an idea of what it's like... I tried to get some still shots of is, but when you type "Big Tit" into an image search engine, you feel like you need to talk to the Bishop afterward...

Marcus was the star - he fell on one of the rocks and gashed his knee - it really was bleeding a lot - but that didn't stop him from jumping time and again, each time trying (somehwat unsuccessfully) to improve his form and instead smacked his arms every time. Thomas did well and jumped off everything, as did Tyler, though he didn't want to hurt himself before high school football so we gave him a slight pass...

After all that, we still weren't done - we watched two episodes of the Wire (have I really not blogged about The Wire yet?), then met up with Ryan and Ashley and watched the USA Basketball team win gold against Spain. Or, let me rephrase - Ryan, Matt and I watched the game, Ashley (who made really good peanut butter cookies) fell asleep on the chair next to Ryan, then went to bed, and Kellie fell alseep on the floor... and then wondered why her arm was asleep...

All told, a great Saturday... if only they could all be like this...

Kumquats Update - Back On Top

Ive heard from quite a few people out there - some directly involved with the Kumquats, but the majority not, that they're following our team's progress closely, so I apologize for being delinquent in my Thursday report.

It was a dicey game, but on the strength of two phenomenal goals by Matt 'Call me Beckham' Felt we win 4-3. The first, in the first half, was a great shot to the upper right 90 assistes bt Kellie, and the
second in the second half was a volley fcibf into the sun that was perfectly played and Matt put it perfectly into the side netting. Chad scored our third goal on a great header, also facing into the sun (Matt almost had a hat trick but the keeper made a fantastic save to stop his header.)

It was actually a pretty ugly game by Kumquats defense standards, allowing two goals in he first seven minutes (causing yours truly to enduce three wounds) and then another goal which a certain member if our team (who shall remain nameless) misplayed a ball back to me, at which point the other team intercepted the ball and scored on another suicide goal (and another raspberry for me.). At that point we were tied 3-3, and in the next two minutes Conrad scored to give us the win, thus vindicating the nameless bad-ball player. I can only think that if Joe had been there (he's at a relative's wedding - I mean come on - PRIORITIES JOE!) it wouldn't have been so bad. Joe is a force out there -and if nothing else, he'll put you on your aaa if you try to score.

We won the game, thank goodness, because Matt would have had a helluva time at home if they hadn't (whoops, did I give up who played the bad ball?!) We are now 5-1 and in first place in the league...

We also had a pretty great cheering section - Mom Bragg, Tani, Marcus, Tom, Heather, Amanda and Will, Andy, and Conrad's wife Angela (who us setting me up with a friend of hers, and who's number she gave me... Finally) came and were cheering the whole time for us - which was awesome. I just hope that our giving up three goals doesn't stop them from coming again.

Next week it's Sweden again - let's see if I can keep Joe from giving me Cauliflower Ear...

Mobile Soccer Blog

No, I couldn't come up with a more creative name. I want to try out this mobile blogging some more, so I decided to do it at Matt and Kellie's OTHER soccer game - the indoor league they use as a tune-up for Thursday night Kumquats games (which are the ones that really count.)

They play on a team that wears all black - the majority (everyone except Matt ad Kellie) are waiters at Chevys, so naturally their uniforms are all black t-shirts. Somehow Kellie got her hands on one, but Matt is forced to play in a black 'I do my own stunts' shirt. No, that's not made up - that's really what he plays in.

So the team isn't very good - I've played with them a few times and it's hard for someone competitive to play for then because they are a little lax - they just don't care - and I know that Matt and Kellie get frustrated on a weekly basis because they are more competitive than I am.

Today they are losing 2-1 and for all intents and purposes should be up 1-0 but their keeper has let one ball go through his legs and one I swear ricoched off his left shoulder into the goal.

So far I've seen (as I was typing, another goal was scored making it 3-1) Kellye get elbowed in the neck, Kellie shoot the ball multiple times right at the keeper's hands, Matt get frustrated that someone he laid a nice ball to misplayed it, and the whole team give an 'attaboy' to the keeper when he let one ball go by him, then have it to through his legs, and finally he fell, literally, on the ball because he didn't know where it was.

There is one bald guy on their team is never seen before and he seems to be decent, but I'm not sure Christiano Ronaldo himself could make a difference with this lot.**

I will say this though - for what the team lacks in competitive spirit and skill they more than make up for in apathy and lack of fitness.

But at least they're smiling...

**DISCLAIMER - Matt and Kellie are by far the best ones on the team, and the albeit sarcastic yet not necessarily positive things that I said about the team don't really apply to them...

Olympian Andy?

I know that you all probably know about the premier events that have taken our imagination and national pride to a whole new level: the Michael Phelps, Nastia Luikin and Dara Torres' of the world, but what if I were to add my name to that list?

I think there are basically three events that I could compete in to become an Olympian, at least on the summer Olympics side. One of them I don't have nearly the talent for, and that's triathlon, so we'll leave that to the side.

The first I think I may have a chance at (yes, Amanda - give me three years) is the single or double sculls. Yes, I think I could be a rower. All I need is three years of nothing else to do and a boat. I figure I could rent a boat at $12 per day at the Natomas put-in and get into rowing shape. If Matt and I were to do the doubles, he with his short and powerful legs and me with my ability to dig deep and use my length as leverage, we'd kill.

The other is team handball, which would be a bit more difficult, but I think a lot more fun. Team handball is the only sport in this Olympic games where there is no American presence.

Er? Are you kidding me? No American presence? That can't be... (one might say)

Yes, that's right - we have no team. In fact, the only games that we EVER had a team handball presence was in Atlanta, and that was only because of the Homer Rule (yes, HOMER Rule, not Home Rule) and we didn't win one match. Basically our team handball program is a joke and practically nonexistant. In fact, the program was defunded by the USOC in order to provide more money to winter biathlon and archery.

I don't understand at all why there is no Americans in the sport - it seems like a perfect American sport, basically combining Basketball, Lacrosse, Soccer and Arena Football into one really fun-looking game. There are tackles, fouls, blood, aerial acrobatics and best of all YOU USE YOUR HANDS unlike those fruity european games like Association Football.



I think Matt, Joe, Ryan, Tanner Laverty, Myself and two more unnamed players (maybe Kellie and Andy) could have a really good time and be competitive. In fact, I'll make the USOC a deal: if you pay for our uniforms, travel and entrance fees to World Qualifying Tournaments, as well as money for room and board and a per diem so we have the freedom to train, and a personal trainer and a coach (and probably an instructional DVD on how to play the game) we'll make the 2012 Olympic games in London. That's a promise...

Thursday Night Movie Night - Tropic Thunder

It's become kind of a tradition for us to see a movie every Thursday night after the Kumquats games (which we won last night 1-0, and I touched the ball exactly three times and only had one save.) I think it started when we saw Dark Knight on opening night, and continued from there. We've seen some really bad movies (Chinese Mummy or whatever its called) and we've seen some really good movies, and last night was a good one.

I am not going to give a movie review per se, but I will say that everyone should see this movie. Let me rephrase... everyone with a sense of humor should see this movie. Matt, Kellie and Tani went last night and we brought along Kelly Law, Kellie's best friend and one of our teammates (she's quick as can be and fast and a pretty damn good soccer player) but she must have no sense of humor - she told us afterward that she was hoping it would end a lot sooner than it did.

Yikes!

Seriously - I won't give anything away except to say there's a scene that I will be laughing at for quite awhile to come, and I'm not going to tell you what it is, but after you see it, we'll talk...


Robert Downey Jr playing a Russell Crowe-turned-Chicken George was hilarious, too - the movie could not have been better cast with some really great small parts (you've all probably heard about Tom Cruise, but he ain't the only one...) and cameos (which I also won't tell you about because I want you to be surprised as I was with as big a smile on my face.)

And let me just leave you with this - how is it that the Special Olympics can't laugh at a ridiculous actor and his obviously ridiculous portrayal of "Special Jack" but black people aren't upset about a white guy playing Chicken George. I'm not saying that they SHOULD be mad, I am saying that if black people understand and get the joke and laugh with the rest of us, shouldn't the Special Olympics?

And if anyone knows where to get some Booty Sweat and a Bust-a-Nut, let me know...

Kill Me...

You know I like to put something on here just about every day, and this is honestly my first chance to do that today because I've been working since 6:00 AM.

Ugh - for those math majors out there, that's 16 hours of work, and I still have about another hour to go. I had a visitor from the national party here today and I had to do work with him, so I am really a full day behind. When I see you in person, ask me about my feelings on that...

So needless to say I am not the happiest of campers, so I've prepared a little list of things I'd rather be doing than working right now:

1. Share with Matt a small island covered inch-by-inch with snakes... (and not because of the snakes...)

2. Be locked in a room with Mariah Carey doing her high-octave voice warm-ups

3. Go hunting with Gary Busey

4. Be a luge safety tester

5. Take a meeting at Waffle House on fast Sunday morning

6. Get stuck in an elevator that only plays the Mu-Zak version of "Endless Love" on an endless loop

7. Eat a bucketfull of tomatoes (do they come in buckets?)

8. Wrestle Hellga (or go on a date with Hellga - can't really decide which would be worse...)

9. Douse myself with female bear hormones and head into Alaska naked

10. Try to harmonize Cooleyhighharmony with three Stephen Hawkings

Kumquats Photos

So I thought I'd post some of the photos from our game on Thursday that Tiff took - enjoy...

Matt and Me walking out for the start of the first half... notice the spare tire around my waste - that which is keeping me a step slower than I once was... (But also notice the new boots :)

I love this picture of Joe - I'm not really sure what he's trying to do here, but I imagine something like "Hey lady, check out my sexy belly... now give up the ball before me!" (All said, of course, in Joe's "tea and scrumpets" scottish accent...

Notice the fine form of young Mr. Felt - he's only been playing for a short while and yet the form is fantastic... I think if he was 60 yards closer to the goal this shot might have scored...

I like to think that I'm directing my defensive traffic in this picture, but really all I am doing is pointing out where the ball is...

You'll notice that both Joe and I are looking to where I can only assume the ball is - so the question is, what in the world is Chad doing here to this poor girl? We'll call this Chad's non-foul...

This is Matt trying to stop... that's all I'll say about that...

Kellie looking spent - and somewhat surprised? - after the game... She plays harder than us all...

Kumquats Lose?

Yes, that's right - after a 2-1 loss last night we are not going to go undefeated this season. We were missing three of our best players and had to play a man down most of the game, and we played last season's runners-up (we were the champs, thank you) but still that doesn't change the fact that we lost.

What makes it worse is that this is the game that Andy and Tani Bragg , Amanda and Will Gant (Matt's family) and Joe's wife Tiffany (who snapped some pics that I'll be posting when I get the link from her) were all there, only to watch us lose. AND we played the early game so everybody who was waiting for the next game to start also saw us lose. Now, I HATE losing, but I have even more losing in front of people. Ugh...

The two goals they scored were wide-open, point blank shots from about 4-5 yards out, but I still feel like I should have gotten there. I've definately lost a step since I was playing in college - might have something to do with the extra midget I am carrying around on my waist...

I had a couple nice saves - one from a point blank shot that was a reaction save, and the other from Kellie, who accidentally redirected a ball to the upper 90 - luckily it was going slow enough (I actually saw it in slow motion, which was cool) that I was able to make a ridiculously unnecessary diving save - yes, I think I could have caught it, but I'm a showman... sue me...

And to top it off, I sat through the new Mummy movie last night. There will probably be more on that later, but for now I'll just say BOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Emmigrant Gap Part Two

Glad you're back... we continue with our coverage of Emigrant Gap Mancamp extravaganza...

So after the morning, where we lazily make breakfast (first bacon, then eggs, then hashbrowns - all on Sourgough bread that we were supposed to use the night before with the beef "stew" but for some reason forgot was in the truck... along with the Oreos...) and it was good. I mean, how could anything that has anything to do with bacon not be good?

Then we start doing what seems to be a long-time tradition when it comes to camping with these folks - tearing down trees. No, not destroying forests, that would be illegal in a National Forest - but taking dead trees that are still upright and correcting their posture. That is, tearing them to the ground using ropes, leverage and Joe's brute strength.

After an hour and a half of climbing the mountain and tearing down trees (I swear one of them was at least 150 feet tall) you work up a sweat - and you NEED to jump into freezing cold water, which moves us to the second half of the day: cliff jumping...

Now, before the actual cliffs are discussed, we need to talk about the snake. We walked down the small path to the water, and we heard a rattle and saw a pretty big grey and black rattle snake. Now, this may be hard to describe, but Matt is deathly afraid of snakes - like he makes Indiana Jones look like an Appalacian religious nut in comparison, so when he sees the snake, he points to it, says "Screw You!" and takes off running. It was possibly the funniest moment in the whole trip. Who curses out a snake like they can hear you? They don't even have ears, which is why they flick their tongues... or is that they don't have noses? I forget... But despite our trying afterward to catch the snake (after all, there are kids that use those trails...) we proceed to the 'falls...

Basically there were the big cliffs, about 40 feet in the air, and there were smaller cliffs, about 15 feet from the air, if that - we had fun on all of them, and spent about three hours jumping off the big and little ones - and don't let the pictures fool you - it's damn scary looking down from a 40 foot cliff when you only have a small landing strip.

There was a waterfall - seen below, a smaller one than the one that we jumped off - that we tried (all unsuccessfully) to climb, and as soon as you stepped into the water, you wanted out and wanted to sun yourself on the rocks - I've never felt so close to being a lizard...

I will let the videos do the talking...

Matt Flipping Off the Cliff

Joe Jumping Off the Cliff

Andy Jumping Off the Cliff




Matt Trying to Climb the Waterfall (complete with water spot)

Now, I hope you'll allow me an aside to moms:

Mom, this is a video that we made - of why California is so great, so if you lose me to this place, know that I'm in good hands. And no, I don't think Cali is better than South Cac, just different...

And now, the video:

So that's our trip - we played in the water, had a good time and left about 2:00 after only eating breakfast. And Matt fell asleep on the way home... go figure...

Emmigrant Gap Part One

So, I want to blog extensively about our activities of the weekend - BUT I also want you to tune back in AFTER you read the blog because I'll be posting videos and pictures that will make it even cooler...

Matt, Joe, three others and myself went camping on Friday - yes, I left work (relatively) early to be there by 7:00 and we left to head up to Emigrant Gap, in the Sierra Nevada mountains near Tahoe. My friends like to camp, and I had forgotten how fun it is to be in the wilderness with fire and stars (though it should be noted this was my second, not my first, camping trip in California- though I am not sure the first one counted since it rained the whole time and we had an executive camp chef cooking all our meals.) The reason for this particular trip was that Joe got a new Dutch Oven for his birthday... yes, that's all the impetus it takes for us to organize a camping trip...

We head up there, get there at around 10:00 after stopping at the grocery store to:

1. Pick up materials for beef stew, peach cobler and bacon, eggs and hashbrowns
2. Clean out Joe's cooler that's served as a cucoon for a rotting peach to turn into a beautiful ball of mold over the last several months
3. Buy frisbees to use as plates, serving platters and preperation dishes - which was a failure as the store didn't have any

We get to the campsight after seeing a rather unsightly side of Joe and Matt chops kindling, I build the tripod fire and the rest start prepration on the meal (after Joe drug a whole tree to use as firewood - that's just standard Joe.) Meanwhile, we are being serenaded by the drunken teens in the adjacent campsight and there damned rock and roll music.

All-in-all, the beef stew was tasty, albeit a little more "meat and potatoes" and less "stew" and the peach cobbler, though just a tad but burnt (my mom would have loved it) was pretty tasty as well. Did I mention that we couldn't find frisbees so the majority of us just ate right out of the Dutch Oven with Joe-provided spoons? Good looking out Joe...

We end up finishing the meal at around 1:00 am, talk till about 2:00 then set up our sleeping bags on the ground looking up at the stars, at which point we have a robust debate about Orion's Belt, the North Star, the Big (or Little?) Dipper and stars in general - and none of us have any idea what we're talking about.

Matt Jackson has spent the last three hours blowing up his air mattress, which he finally gets fully inflated and immediately falls asleep and starts snoring, Chris Griffen forgot his sleeping bag so he sleeps in the truck, and Matt Joe and I are on the ground on a tarp, but that's okay because I bought that day a new sleeping bag:

-North Face Cat's Meow
-Rated to 0 degrees
-Extra Long for my feet to have movement
-2.25 pouns
-Head opening pocket
-Glow-in-the-dark zipper
-Black and Blue
-General overall awesomeness
-Bought on Sale

And we slept through until around 7:30 the next morning, not bad at all...